what a first month!

i know i know…i’ve been in Quito almost a month and no blog update. well, if its any consolation we didn’t have internet for the first 2-3 weeks and besides that life has been INSANE, in mostly good ways. so i’ll do my best to fill you in on how the last several weeks have been.

the first 2-3 weeks, and honestly even still, we’ve been running crazy trying to take care of miscellaneous things that must be done before we can do anything else. for example…we were doing some of the following: geting office supplies and groceries, setting up internet (an incredibly frustrating process), finding the right battery for marco’s/our car, geting my phone set up, geting me signed up for spanish classes, ect ect… if i told you nearly everything we did, i’d probably fall asleep as i’m sure you would too.

we have really seen and been involved with God doing some cool stuff while we’ve been here. first off, shortly after arriving, we had over 120 people at our house for an entire day of worship/praise/teaching/and encouragement. even though i was coming down with a cold, it was mind blowing that i was experiencing a large group of people coming together to worship our Savior. i also know that since there isn’t an abundance of Jesus followers here, these events are pretty rare (unlike what many of us have experienced in the states). last weekend we also had another group of about 30 people here to have a BBQ, watch movies, and play Ecua-volley (a rendition of volleyball). marco and i believe we have this house (his parents) so we can provide a place for people to come together to worship, hang out, and just be a huge blessing to others. and even after only being here for a few weeks the house has been exactly that, many times! marco and i are both involved with a house church that meets 2 times a week. we are actually going to be pretty integral in the leadership of the house church. the pastor is the dean of theology at a Christian University here in Quito. from what i can understand, and from what Marco’s told me about him, he’s a real deep thinker and challenges everyone a ton!

so on the the less uplifting things. the day i arrived i was coming down with a cold. this lasted for nearly 3 weeks and escalated into bronchitis or pneumonia at the end. i never went to a doctor, i finally took a antibiotic that i still had from my last trip. i should have taken it much sooner, but i thought it’s just had a cold and it would go away. also during this nasty cold i had two other pretty crazy experiences. after i had been in quito for about 4 days, i was ridding the scooter, so we could have a ride back after we left the car at the mechanic. well, i laid the bike down going around a round-a-bout. i didn’t get too hurt, just some nasty scabs and strawberry’s, but i realized how much worse it could have been, seeing that it was in the middle of downtown Quito. the encouraging thing is that the drivers here in Quito are much more accustomed to people zooming around on motorcycles, so they’re really alert and defensive. thats not all, a few days after that, we we’re taking the car back to the mechanic and the battery we had just bought 3 days earlier started sparking (b/c it was touching metal). well marco and i got out to move it away from the metal and when we did it fell back on the metal and exploded all over us. both marco and i got battery acid in our eyes and i got acid in my mouth. however, our sovereign Lord was watching over us, b/c there was a neighborhood with a guardshack with a bathroom right next to where our car was parked….what are the chances! we washed our eyes out immediately and even went to a clinic right after that and were teated even more. a few days later we saw that our jackets and clothes we were wearing had holes all over them from the battery acid. so, to say that i felt blessed and that the Lord was watching over us, is the biggest understatement. marco and i found ourselves laughing about both of these events later seeing they both happened within days of each other. in the matter of less than a week, i had never felt my life more at risk and more un-invinceable.

well, with all this being said, we cannot help but praise the Lord for all he has done for us. marco and i have had some amazing times praying and worshiping the Lord with other people and by ourselves. we’ve said many times how its amazing that we actually have a lot of “things” here (car, scooter, house, video projector, money from supporters, ect) but none of it is really ours. it’s all being lent to us or has been given to us, therefore, we cannot be proud or boastful, because out of the Lord’s grace it’s been given to us. we’re amazed at how we’ve already seem Him at work and how much grace He’s given us just in the last few weeks.

i look forward to updating again soon. i’ve already experienced sooo many things in the last few weeks that i’ve never experienced in my previous 25 years.

*i’ll put some pics up on flickr in the next few days*

More on thoughts than departure…

Well, obviously I have lots to say about my preparation for my departure, and I thought that my next entry would be on such subjects. However, I was prompted by a sermon by Matt Chandler (if you haven’t listened to him, you should) to share some thoughts the Lord has be working with me on, over the last few weeks. WARNING: Its not necessarily pretty, but rather honest!

These things that God’s been dealing with me on, aren’t ones which I claim to have totally figured out (nor will I ever) are surrounding the issues of sanctification, training my heart, and how to “struggle well.” Let me preface by saying I’m not a deep thinker necessarily, but Matt Chandler is, and I’m able to take some things from the interpretations he has made.

It’s not a revelation, but I’m never going to be able to conquer sin, or maybe I should take a step back and say that I’m never even going to conquer the temptation that derives the sin. The heart of the issue that I’ve been dealing with is…why do I (and we) always have certain things that I struggle with and it seems like I never can overcome? I mean even Paul (who is one of the greatest men of God in the Bible) talks about this in Romans, how the things he wants to do he doesn’t and the things he doesn’t want to do, he does. I think we can see this struggle will never die, due to the flaw of our nature. But rather the question isn’t how to get rid of the struggle, but how to “struggle well.” James 5:16 shows the importance of not waging this battle on our own, but rather sharing our struggles with others closest to us, not just once but regularly. This can prevent satan from attacking us one on one, but rather we have encouragement, rebuke, and help from those who love us most. Satan uses embarrassment from sin (as if no one else struggles with these issues) to wage war against us most effectively, to keep us from getting help. Surrounding ourselves with friends whom we can share the issues with and get them in the open, even getting counseling, and constantly drawing near to solid and challenging teaching, are all huge ways to to “struggle well” and keep from spinning in place or even regressing.

Just to touch on another super basic and fundamental issue that Paul talks about in Romans 9:16 is how it doesn’t depend on my efforts or trying harder. When I do this, I’m completely forgetting the entire reason Jesus came….because I COULDN’T, CAN’T, and WON’T be able to overcome all temptations, no matter how disciplined I am or how hard I work. But rather I must depend on God’s mercy and grace, that He willingly lavished upon us. This requires me to give up on my effort, and rather to wait on his mercy and grace to deliver me from these temptations (but even then we still will struggle, thus we need to “struggle well.” The way I should do this is to wait while surrounding myself with sound teaching, friends and even counselors who love me and want to help share those struggles, and walk in obedience the best I know how!

Somewhat separately from these matters, but still talking about how God’s been dealing with me… I’ve also been reminded how my hearts desire to draw near to idols, some obvious, and others so hidden and obscure that Satan desires for me to be deceived or justify them away until my heart becomes so hardened where I cannot even hear the voice of God. Thus, this brings me to the realization that I need to daily challenge myself to search my heart for anything that I may be putting ULTIMATE before God (ANYTHING!)!?

Well, these are the ways my savior and creator has been working with me…maybe u can relate.?

I’ll be posting another blog soon and/or sending out a newsletter regarding all the preparations and provisions of the Lord as i’ve been anxiously awaiting my departure for Ecuador!

my flight is booked

well, tonight i booked my flight for Quito…i’ll be leaving out of Atlanta on Jan 1st. these days are really exciting for many reasons. i’ve been working on details preparing for my departure and setting things up in Quito for my arrival.

on nov 19th my church (crossroads community church ) hosted a support dinner for me, where i was able to tell some 40+ of my closest friends about the next chapter in my life that God is beginning. that night was such an incredibly monumental and emotional night for me. it was amazing to see so many of those closest to me coming together to hear and support the vision that God’s put in my heart. i was and still am overwhelmed by all the blessings God has provided for IMAGINE our organization/movement to take flight. i’ve had one after another interaction and experience where God has encouraged and provided in different and greater ways than I could have imagined.

this has also been an incredible time to see friends and family and really invest in some new friendships that God’s placed in my life. i feel blessed on so many levels its hard to explain. i definitely have many bitter/sweet feelings about leaving my life as i currently know it in the US (and all my friends and family) for Quito. however, i am so excited for what God has planned before us and i feel his hand guiding and providing for us on this journey. i know that i’m very much naive towards what lies ahead, but i’m not sure that i’ll ever be fully prepared nor do i think the Lord wants me to be (at least in many of the ways we think of being prepared).

in these days, i’m trying to IMAGINE the size of the God we serve and what he wants to do, and up to this point He seems to be stretching even my imagination!! I hope that always happens!!

preparing the way

well, first let me say i really apologize for not having blogged in quit some time. a lot of things have happened since my last blog. i have talked w/ a good friend who started an organization called Global Connections, and have decided to partner with him in “our” or IMAGINE’s efforts in ministry in Ecuador. GC is going to help us with many logistics as well as funneling all finances to provide tax deductions to supporters. i believe that GC is going to be an integral part in IMAGINE making headway in transforming the way many Latin’s think about the gospel.

this week i am having a support dinner to bring local friends and family together to share what God is doing in my heart and explain my future plans. i have been super blessed by my church and staff who have planned and incurred the costs of the dinner. i’ve also had a friend who has redesigned the IMAGINE logo and created a postcard flyer that I can give to my supporters. these are just a few of the ways that God has been tremendously blessing our organization over the last couple months.

i’m hoping to get down to Quito around the first of Dec. however, I still don’t have a flight booked and I’m trying to wait to make sure that we’re going to have enough money to support the org for the first year before leaving. i really need to get down there soon, b/c i’m forgetting my spanish since i’m not using it. i will be signing into a spanish institute as soon as i arrive in Quito. marco and i talk very often about logistics, but it’s quit frustrating since the internet is inconsistent and less than stellar.

within the next couple weeks i should know if i’ll be able to leave by the first part of dec. i’m so excited about the path that God preparing for us!! i really will update again soon.

proccessing and the next steps

these last several weeks have been a time of rest, reflection, spending time with my family, and catching up with friends and supporters. i’m am still in the middle of processing the last 6 months. having seen, learned, and experienced so many things during this DTS, makes it difficult to know what to do with all this information. each time i tell friends about my time in South America, things become a little more organized, however, i’m still learning how to communicate my experience.

as far as the things that i can communicate about my time in south america. through interacting with many students and people in south america, i’ve come to recognize a culmination of negative feelings they have toward, the church, christians, or people that claim to believe in Christ. many of these people are filled with bitterness and resentment towards religions that claims to follow Christ for several reasons. first, they feel that “we” are arrogant in our approach. “we” try to impose our beliefs and convert them without even developing a relationship with them. it appears that “we” soley want to convert them, rather than get to know them and love them. another reason for this bitterness is due to “our” judgmental attitude. instead of conveying love, “we” mostly communicate the judgment and wrath that God will pour on them if they don’t confess their sin. lastly, they believe that most “christ followers” are hypocritical. since “we” convey the gospel (which is love) in ways other than love, “we” are portrayed as hypocrites. hearing these beliefs about “christ followers” was very disturbing for me. i realized how much south americans have been hurt by the actions and attitudes of the church and christ followers. this has developed a passion within me to want to change the way Christ is portrayed in South America.

through my DTS with YWAM i began to develop a close relationship with a guy in my small group whose name is marco. he and i have seen the same needs and feel the same passion for showing Jesus to the people of south america in a serving, loving, and relationtional way. in these days, i’m seeking counsel from others and the face of God to see how He may lead me in this next step. if God continues to confirm the steps and open the doors to go back to South America, then i will be looking to return in the near future to begin taking language classes and mastering the language while working on setting up the ministry. in these moments i’m looking at different mission organizations to see if there are any that i feel would be a good fit to partner with in this effort. i understand that going with an organization would make things much easier from the from the getgo, but i’m open to beginning things on my own if that’s the way God is leading.

i’m beginning to try to really reflect back on my DTS and identify key things that God’s been teaching me and how He’s been shaping my journey in missions and my relationship with Him. this is a process that takes a good deal of time…but i know this is crucial for me to begin to move on the next page in missions. i look forward to continue to update on here, as i hear from God.

1 Corinthians 10:33 – “For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.”

letting the dust settle

just a few days ago our mobile DTS came to a close. over the last several days, we have been trying to wrap things up by finalizing the processing of all the information we’ve gathered, while also trying to rest and relax from an incredibly exhausting 5+ months. this has really been a great time also to spend time with my friends and have fun adding to the memories that will always bond us together. we have begun to say our goodbyes as a few members of our team have begun to leave to head back home, and even more will be departing over the next few days. as much as i was ready to have a break from the whirlwind pace of life, I’m not at all ready to part ways with these friends. i understand that i may never have an intimacy or bond with a large group of people (or anyone for that matter) like we’ve have, ever again in my life. this has given me a great example of how to live in community with a group of people who are far different than myself. through this experience, we all saw great attributes of each other as well as some of the less desirable attributes that we possess. but through it all we learned to live together, love together, and persevere together.

i’m beginning to think more about my time when i return to the states, and how i’m going to plan my schedule with supporters. i’m really trying to begin to organize my thoughts and discuss with friends what God has been doing in my heart and vision. if you know me, you know that i’m often antsy to begin with the action. thus, i’m having a hard time being patient and just waiting on the Lord to continue to fill in the rest of the pieces as He knows best. but, despite doing everything on my part to pursue what he’s calling me to, I’m still renouncing my rights to his plan.

just this afternoon, i had a wonderful conversation with one of my best friends on the trip, Marco, whom i share similar ideas with to impact peoples lives for Christ. we talked over many things regarding our vision’s and how our ideas may be able to mesh to create a great movement for Christ. he has been a huge encouragement, as many of my friends and family have been in the process to pursue God’s vision. i hope to think over these things regarding what i’ve learned from this DTS about my vision and the needs that I’ve seen, so I can clearly communicate these ideas with many of you back home. i expect to continue blogging about these ideas and the work God’s done in my life for much of the near future.

i eagerly look forward to the days when i can share with each of you how i see God directing me.

learning to appreciate

i’m writing this while listening to my group cleaning the kitchen after Cena (Dinner) with mix of regea and regaton music (extremely common music in South America….with only one type of beat) playing out of cars and apartment windows in the nearby neighborhood. after we returned from the University this afternoon, i was doing some exercise with some of the guys and afterwards began to think about how its an amazing thing to share community with other people from other countries, spend time in random places, experience new things in life, and through it all praise Jesus for how good He is and what He’s done for us. as much as i am ready to come back and see friends, family, and familiar things, i believe there is something beautiful about living a life unpredictable with new faces and new experiences. it’s interesting how the longer i have been down here, the less i’ve found myself getting irritated with the slowness of life and in the inconveniences “you” incur (compared to the US). in every city in Latin America, you’ll find people anywhere from little boys to impoverished adults begging, selling small trinkets, or performing an art for you in or around public transportation. initially i found this irritating, however after a while I began to become intrigued and better yet began to enjoy their offers. i’ve begun to appreciate things like walking through town, listening to the impoverished perform for money, and not carrying a cell phone with me at all times. it’s definitely a lifestyle that i’ve begun to get used to.

today will most likely be the last day of investigation within the University. this time is surreal and really hard to believe that we are at the end of our trip with this being our last day in the University. this has become so much part of our life that it will seem weird not going to the University every day. we have yet to really process all the information we’ve gained as a whole. It will be very interesting to look at the differences b/w each country and University.

i’m looking forward to spending a lot of time with Jesus in addition to relaxing over the next 2-3 weeks. pray that it will be a restful/intimate time with my savior Jesus!! i’m really looking forward to seeing many of you when i return! nos vemos mas tarde (see you soon)!!

full day

today a few of my friends in the DTS and I went to a mountain called pachincha that overlooks Quito, Equador. we had an amazing day of hikking and looking out over the city. We took horses (only $4) from the top of the mountain down to the middle where we took a gondala back down to the bottom. the horseback ride was definitely an adventure, b/c our horses were a little on the wild side and apparently had not been trained a whole lot. we got a coffee at the top of the mountain to warm up b/c it was a about 50 degrees with a strong wind. by the time we took the gondala back down, it was dark and the entire city was lit up. we had about 10 mins in the gondala where we sang worship music and prayed over the entire city. it was an incredibly spirit filled time.

the past week we have been staying at my good friend’s house (on the DTS with me- who is Equadorian). he has been great b/c we’ve had a lot of space and been able to relax a little in our free time. a couple nights ago we made a fire and sang worship music for over and hour. it was an incredibly time that I will remember for many years. it’s such an amazing experience feeling the holy spirit so tangibly, and even more so with other friends. I believe experiences like that are going to be just a hint of what heaven is like!

I’d like to write more, but we have to head back to the house! I hope you’re able to enter the presence of the Holy Spirit this week!

time of reflection

today we finished the last day of our lecture phase. it has been a really insightful time over the past three weeks receiving teaching from an assortment of different speakers from different countries. However, I’m glad to be done with the school portion…cause if you know me, i’ve never been one to love school. (lol) tomorrow we are headed to Quito, Ecuador…which is where Marco (one of my best friends in the DTS) lives. we will be there for a week and then some of our team will go to Venezuela, and others will stay in Colombia for the remainder of the trip.

right now…i really feel worn down due to many things, but mainly from traveling for over four months and staying extremely busy this entire time. the long trips in buses and often lack of beds, has really taken its toll on my body physically. also, during the last three weeks living in a tight community has brought many challenges. all of the guys have been staying in one large/small room. this requires many things, including giving up your privacy, being tolerant of 11 other roommates, and endure sleepless nights with most everyone snoring. however, again its things like this that has forced me to depend and rely on the Lord’s strength.

this past week we have been learning in our teaching a lot about perspective. we’ve been hearing about how God used many people in the bible to accomplish His purposes, even if it took several attempts using multiple people. our teachings have made me realize that we must trust those we work with and do ministry with to accomplish the goals and dreams that God has….especially when leading others. i’ve also been reminded how easy it is to focus so much on achieving the visions and dreams the Lord has given you, that you miss the journey and the opportunities that He has for you during the process. we need to open our eyes and live each day with great purpose, otherwise we may be missing huge blessing God has for you and/or others through you.

i don’t have much more time with all of the members of my team, since we will be in different locations over the next few weeks. i hope to make the most of our time worshiping and interacting with all of them while we are together! still praying a lot about what He has for me after the DTS!!??

feel free to send me a msg or email….i cannot wait to see many of you when I return in july. may God bless you this next week and give you a passion for making an impact in someone’s life!

typhoid-blessings

sorry its been a while since i last got on here. a lot has kept me away. mostly though, i was bed ridden for several days with typhoid fever. i’m almost completely better now, but i’m still dealing with dealing with a severe skin rash in parts of my body from the shot i received at the hospital, to reduce the fever. its crazy because a few years ago when i went to Malaysia i received a shot for typhoid, however South America wasn’t supposed to be necessary. anyways, i’m soooo glad that i’m almost over the typhoid….it was a miserable few days.

since i’ve been sick i’ve missed most of the teachings. however i have been able to attend some lectures over the last couple days. this week we have another American speaking to us. and not only another person who speaks english, but a man by the name of John Henry, who is the person with YWAM that put me in touch with John Hwang. today i got to speak with him during lunch and it was a good conversation. it was really cool to see someone (a little older) that isn’t getting swept away with tradition or living comfortably in their own preferred gospel. i hope to always be sensitive to allowing the Spirit tranform my heart and be able to communicate the gospel relevantly to others.

yesterday was my birthday, and it was very interesting spending it here with my team in Lima. i wasn’t sure if any of them would remember that it’s my birthday…but sure enough, first thing in the morning they came sneaking into my room to sing me happy birthday in three languages (Eng, Sp, and Korean). they really made it a cool day for me yesterday. during the afternoon i spent the time with several of the people i have gotten closest too. they took me to a really cool park/mall along the ocean that looks out over a cliff to the sea. its an amazing place, and def the coolest that i have been to here in Lima!! My main objective yesterday afternoon was to try to call my family over skype and catch up with them. Then last night they had sort of a surprise party for me with a cake and a few of the others bought me presents too. We also had an amazing worship time last night, with the Holy Spirit physically tangible in the room. Its amazing experiencing the presence of the Lord like that, esp on your birthday!!! last night i actually had a hard time going to sleep b/c I was so grateful and overwhelmed by the blessings and love of others i have around me!! truly a time to be sooo thankful!!

my small group and i were talking last night about how we only have a few weeks left on our DTS. its so hard to believe, b/c coming into this trip 5 months seemed like such a long time, but it has gone by so fast! i know the next few weeks are going to be largely concentrated on processing the last several months, trying to sort out the next steps, getting excited to see family and friends back home, but yet being really sad to leave my friends and “family” here in South America.

- “thank you Jesus-Lord-Savior-Creator for wanting to give me so many good blessings and including me in your kingdom changing plans!!!”